My Little Beloved
by Miss Riku
Summary: A look at who Rufus Shinra is through the eyes of his daughter: Do you love me, father? No, of course you don't. You make your Turks do everything, even make me feel loved. Can't you just do that, Daddy? I just want you to love me, but I don't know it yet


**Hey guys-First Final Fantasy Fiction [Wow, thats a mouthful!] hope you like a please R&R! Sorry for any mistakes in the story--like misnaming and stuff! This is a really long oneshot-it was going to be two but...eh...whatever. **

**TURN IT ON TURN IT ON TURN IT ON AGAIN!! sorry, having a hawk nelson moment there...XD **

**()()()**

I don't remember much of my father, in fact, I don't have basically any memory of him what so ever during my early years. For the most part, he was the man that people talked about and I happened to be related to him.

I hardly saw him, he usually was locked in his office or either at the company that my Grandfather owned. Come to think of it, I hardly saw him either. The only time I saw my Grandfather was once, when he came to the house to talk to my father. He said hello to me, and said that I looked just like my mother-then he left.

Its an electric company-the one that my Grandfather runs and my Father is Vice President. I don't know much about it except that its what keep my Father so busy all the time. Thats what he said, anyway, the one time I asked him to come play with me, 'maybe next time-I'm busy right now'. That's what he said to me when I was four.

I only regularly saw my father at dinner, if he came to dinner at all [sometimes he was 'too busy' to come to the table and he's just eat in his office']. He didn't talk to me, he just ate, then went back to 'work'. He didn't play with me, he didn't read me good night stories, tuck me into bed or take me places.

He had his workers do that for him; they were called Turks. But I knew them as Mr Reno, Mr Rude, Mr Tseng, Miss Elena, Cissnei and Miss Bettina. Mr. Reno and Mr. Rude would play with me, though Mr. Rude was not as fun as Mr. Reno. They would play board games with me, hide a seek, tag. Among other games-especially role playing games. I would be the damsel in distress and they would come a rescue me.

Mr. Tseng was the one who made sure that I stayed safe, was fed and well dressed, and that I was tucked in at night. He would read books to me sometimes, and tuck me in every night-even if he came in late, he would call and say goodnight.

Miss Bettina and Cissnei would take me places, like to the fair and to shopping. Then one day, Miss Bettina left and Cissnei did to, eventually. Another lady, Miss Elena came in. She was new, but I soon taught her where I liked to go and what I liked to do.

She was fun to go to the fair with, she'd always get me a lolly pop-even though my father gave strict rules that I was not to consume any kinds of dessert.

Mr. Tseng took that rule very seriously and never let me have sugar; Mr. Rude and Miss Bettina also were good about sustaining the sweets. But Miss Elena, Cissnei and Mr Reno would sneak me in candy sometimes; lolly pops [Strawberry flavored, of course] chocolate and sometimes when I went to fairs: Ice cream. I always had Vanilla with lots of sprinkles, Miss Elena got strawberry, Cissnei had Rocky Road and Mr. Reno had dark chocolate.

Miss Elena and I used to also trade 'secrets'. I remember one afternoon when she took me to the fair, she told me that she 'liked' Mr. Tseng. I thought that was funny, she made me promise not to tell anyone. I triple sweared on my secret stuffed Teddy, Teddy. [My father also didn't want me having stuffed animals; something about 'imaginative thinking' but Mr. Tseng and the others snuck me Teddy when I was three].

There were other Turks, but they didn't play with me. Sometimes one of them would 'fill in' for Reno, or Elena when they were 'busy' or 'out working'. Mr. Tseng was the only one who always made sure that he tucked me in every night.

My childhood memories with them were bright-then again, my memories as a whole were bright. I didn't think much about my Father not being around much; that seemed normal to me since I had no other friends. [Another consequence-no friends my age. Even if I made one, there parent's would let me hang out with them when they figured out who my Father and Grandfather was. Even if they didn't care, I never saw them again because my Father never let me]. Though, sometimes I would hear Reno muttering to Tseng about how, 'the boss should be playing with her' and 'how unfair this was to her'. I never thought much about it.

My Mother is dead-Tseng said she died when I was born-in other words, it was my fault. I think that's the reason that my Father doesn't play with me, because it was my fault Mother died. I never knew what she looked like-I guessed something like me because of what my Grandfather said. Until once when I was four, I snuck into my Fathers bedroom and found a picture of her on his dresser. She did look like me, tall, slim, long light blond hair, bright blue eyes. Freckles on her nose.

And was it my fault that she died? I always think so.

I had this ache in my heart, even when I was young. When I'd play with Reno and Rude, go shopping with Bettina, Cissnei and Elena. Get tucked in by Tseng. I was happy, but I always had a hole in my heart- and every time that I saw kids playing with there Mommies and Daddies, I'd feel like crying. My heart hurt a lot.

But besides the heart ache, I thought my life was pretty normal. I never knew what my father did [I knew that ShinRa was en Electric company; but I didn't know yet what my Father and Grandfather did, or what was being done] or what was in the basement of my house. What was going on in the world. It was like my father created a whole world for me, a bubble if you will; one with no candy, no friends, no imaginative thinking. When I was older, I came to the conclusion that he was just hiding me from something-or someone? Maybe trying to protect me from the crazy world we live in? No-because that would mean he cared-which he clearly didn't.

I got a slap of reality when one day, Tseng didn't call to say good night. I started to cry and asked Rude where he was, Rude took me down to the basement of our house; the one place that I absolutely was never to go into under any circumstances; that place and my Father's office. There was a lot of tubes and things in the basement, it was very bright.

He took me over to a tube where a person was laid. It was Tseng. He was badly beaten up and bloody; machines to help him breath were hooked to his mouth. I started to cry and ask him what happened; Rude didn't tell me. But I decided that from then on forward, I was going to kill whoever did this to Mr. Tseng. No matter how big he was, or how tough. I was going to kill him for hurting my friend.

A few years later when I was twelve, Tseng [who was fully healed of his 'hurting'] took me aside and told me that something had happened to my Grandfather. Something about, 'an accident' and 'the new president'. But I understood, even though he never really said it, "Any hope of having your Father is gone"

()()()

At first, this never really meant anything to me, I never had a father anyway. The only that changed in my view was my Father didn't come to dinner anymore, that the Turks played with me less and they stopped sneaking me candy.

I spent my days dancing, a sport which I had found very interesting [Though my Father didn't like me dancing, one time when he heard about it he took away all my music for a month]. Miss Bettina had taught me how to before she left, mostly ballet them. But now I would come up with my own dances, I would spin softfully across my floor to a quiet rhythm from my record player. Usually classical stuff, but sometimes pop. It mattered what mood I was in.

Besides dancing, I would read books. My favorite was LOVELESS it was the story of three friends who went into battle. One flew away, another was captured and the last became a hero. Out of my love of poems, I had memorized the whole thing from front to back. Mr. Reno didn't understand any of it, or so he said. But he pretended to listen when I whined about 'not having the last part'. Sometimes I wondered if there was anyone else in the world who knew what LOVELESS was.

It was while I was reading when Reno came in and sat at the end of my Bed. I was thirteen. He started asking me about my book-that's when I knew that he had bad news.

_There was an accident, Aiko. Your old man...he's pretty beat up...._

That was such an understatement.

He was burned from head to toe, though he was covered in bandages. His leg was broken, his arms were broken. He had a major concussion, his eyes lashes were burned off and his lips and ears were shriveled looking.

I just stared at his motionless body from outside the air bubble he was in. Machines hummed in the back round, monitoring his heart rate, breathing, blood pressure. Basically everything was being monitored.

I didn't cry like I had when Mr, Tseng was hurt, I just stared at his body for a while. Then asked Tseng what had happened.

_Something happened. _

**What something? I'm thirteen, I'm not a three year old and this is my father!**

It was then when I first realized how sheltered I really was. I had been in my nice little dark room, in side a large house somewhere dancing to music. And I realize: I don't even know where I live, who sings music, what the world is like. How many people are actually out there, whats going on with this plant, why I hear explosions when I am trying to sleep at night. Even when I was tutored; I was never taught history or geography. Only science-like chemistry-math, reading and writing. I am very angry.  
I wasn't sure why I was mad; My father hadn't cared about me, at least he didn't appear to. He never played with me, never talked to me. Except to ask me how my tutoring was going or if I was listening to the Turks. He never took me shopping, never took me to fairs, never tucked me in at night and kissed me on the forehead and said he loved me.

Then again, no one ever said they loved me.

But somehow I knew, deep inside, that I was loved. By the Turks, mostly. They never said it, but they'd done so much for me and I knew that it wasn't just because my Father told them to.

_There was an...explosion...A weapon-it was called the Diamond WEAPON. It fired at the company headquarters while he was.....overseeing an operation. _

Cryptic. Didn't even tell me what the 'Diamond Weapon' was. Why it fired at the tower, if anyone else was hurt. What was going to happen now? God; why do they always treat me like I'm three?  
After the 'accident' things were quiet for a while-mentally saying. Physically, I heard explosions sometimes outside and the window in my room was broken by a bullet.

Mr. Tseng had bullet proof glass put in.

When my father woke up from the coma that he'd been in, I was fourteen. It had been just over six months. He didn't ask to see me when he woke up, I was just told he was awake. I didn't go see him.

Why would I go see him? He had never come to see me.

_Aiko, we're leaving._

**You leave a lot.**

_No, I mean, your coming. We're all leaving._

**Why?**

_Its not safe here anymore._

We went to a place called 'Healin Lodge' it was a couple miles outside of Midgar. It was pretty large. My father had bought the whole thing, or so Elena said. It was against a large cliff face, with a little road leading up to it. From the top, you could see the ruins of Midgar off in the distance.

My father was in a wheel chair, the doctor said that he might never walk again. I found myself not caring at all.

My room was smaller then back at our old home. The walls were white and the windows were small. I have a twin bed instead of a queen. The floors were clear a white instead of old, hard wood. But one highlight was that I was able to decorate it any way I wanted. I bought a lot of posters that were in my favorite colors (Of course, the Turks picked them up for me, since I was never allowed to leave the house) and I got one blank one on which I wrote my favorite quotes from LOVELESS. I found some purple sheets for my bed, some matching curtains for my walls.

But it wasn't the same. When we left home, I was able to take my clothes but I had to leave my music and player behind. I never was able to find a new one.

One year later, I was re-reading LOVELESS for the thousandths time, sitting in a window seat in front of a bullet proof window. Reno knocked on my door, he sat down on my bed and started to ask me about LOVELESS. Something was up. Reno had a cut down the side of his face.

_Aiko...there was a accident._

**What happened now?**

_Your old man-he sent me, Tseng and Elena to the northern caves..._

**Why would he do that?**

_We were lookin' for something. _

**Where's Tseng and Elena?**

_...They're...I don't know._

**What do you mean, You don't know? **

_Elena, she was hurt...Tseng wouldn't leave her behind...these guys with guns..._

I went to sleep, soaking my Teddy with tears.

I couldn't understand what was going on, how could Reno leave them behind!? Where was Elena and Tseng!? What was going on!

And Tseng didn't tuck me in that night.

()())

For the first time, my life seemed wild. Tseng and Elena missing, I was having to move. And the funniest thing is, even my father's sickness bothered me.

Rude said it was called Geostigma; the information I received about it was cryptic. Something about cells, infection and someone named Jenova. It apparently was turning into an epidemic; and my father had it; I could see it up his arm sometimes-dead and rotting skin. It smelled awful, the smell of my father slowly rotting, Inside and out. I realized this when I found some blood and gunk filled towels in the bathroom. He must have forgotten to throw them out--bloody hell, my father was dying.

But I find myself not caring.

The Turks had gotten him treatment-the finest money could by. Which was a big shot of Morphine and being permanently confined to a wheel chair. Since before the disease he could not walk [aftermath of the explosion] and his disease would most definitely confine him for the rest of his life; which was winding away slowly and painfully.

He rejected the morphine.

Reno said, in not so many words, that my father was in the 'final stages of the stigma' and he, 'didn't have much time left'.

Ever since my Father got the Stigma, he sits in his wheel chair, and now covers himself with a white blanket ever since he caught me starting to gag from the stench during dinner one evening. And when he started to lift his arm and it revealed pealing and dead skin.

Now I have a pretty good guess why that black spot on my back isn't going away. It hurts like hell when I take a shower and try and sleep at night. I never told anyone. It smells really bad.

It was when I was contemplating this, one afternoon, when the strangest thing happened--it was the day after the 'news' of Tseng and Elena was told to me by Reno. Someone knocked at my door; I thought it was Rude or Reno. Who else would knock on my door?  
It was my father, covered in the blanket and sitting in his wheel chair. I laid on my bed and just stared at him-trying to figure out why he was here.

_Hello, Aiko._

**Hello, Father.**

There was a silence. He didn't look at me.

_Your probably wondering why I'm here._

**Yeah.**

I wanted to say, 'You haven't paid an interest in my for fifteen years-yes, I think I might wonder why your here'.

_I'm here to say I'm sorry._

I don't reply. He wants to say he's sorry?

_I haven't been the best Father-and for that, I'm sorry._

**Okay.**

Thats all I can say-my mind is trying to take the jump from disappearance, to Stigma, to 'I'm sorry'.

_That is all you have to say? Okay? I thought your years of tutoring and poetry reading would give you a better way to reply._

**This is because you're dying, isn't it?**

_My dying does make me think about things, Yes._

We talk like that for an hour, he asks about LOVELESS, I tell him about it. He asks about school, I reply. Then he asks about other things, like what life's been like for me. I tell him-no use being tactful with a dying man.

When he leaves, its late, and he says that I should get some sleep. I don't mention that I can't sleep because of the stigma on my back. But I think he knows anyway.

He turns his chair around and stops right outside the door, I hear his breathing in the quietness of the room. Then listen as he says three words that I have never heard him say, I have never heard anyone say, in my whole life.

_I love you._

That night, I sleep better then I have in years, even with my stigma.

I can't figure out why.

()())

For a week after that, things are good. My father talks to me more then he has in my whole life. He eats dinner with me-even though he makes it very clear that 'he's dying' and 'it doesn't matter anyway'. He doesn't say good night to me; I'm glad he doesn't because I think I'd just cry myself to sleep thinking about Tseng.

Though, sometimes I think he's just doing this because he doesn't want to die a man with enemies.

Then one morning, when I'm re-reading LOVELESS [Actually, for disclaimers sake, I have other books. I actually find myself liking a Novel that Rude picked up in Midgar a year ago: _Directions of the Heart: A novel _but nothing can beat the classic poem. Though, it was very interesting; especcially when I found a picture in the back of it. It was of a girl with short brown hair—on the back it said something about someone names 'Nixan'] Anyway, I am re-reading LOVELESS for the millionth time, when I hear a motorcycle engine.

I look out my window to see a man, spiky blond hair, dark clothes, come riding up and stop right outside the house. I watch him closely, until he looks over at me; then I head down the hall and down stairs to the entry room.

I hear the hum of my fathers wheel chair. I look out a window to see Reno fall out of the entry, then turn around and slam into the door. I can't help but smile.

I head further down the stairs till I reach the door, its open a crack and I listen.

Two voices, my father and another man. My father calls him _Cloud_-I don't remember hearing about this man before. They talk about 'Cloud helping him' and, 'Delivery boys'. When Cloud leaves three minutes later, I have the feeling that him and my father are not 'friends'.

I run back to my room so that My father does not know I was eavesdropping.

The next day, I and my father are sitting in the entry room, playing checkers or some other game. Reno and Rude are sitting on a couch; Rude asleep, his snoring loud, and Reno flipping though a magazine aimlessly. The air seemed edgy, like something was about to happen.

Tseng and Elena are still missing.

Then, I hear a motor outside, Reno jumps off the couch and looks out a window,

_They're here, boss._

(Ever since the 'accident' that confined my father to a wheel chair, he insisted that he no longer be called 'Mr President' because, 'There was nothing left to be President of')

Reno wakes up Rude. Then My father says,

_Reno, get Aiko in the closet._

I blink-the closet? Is someone coming to rape me or something?

Reno comes over and grabs my arm, I pulled away,

**What's going on, Father?**

_Get in the closet, Aiko._

**Why?**

_It's for your protection-these men that are coming are less then...kind, shall we say._

For some reason, I let Reno stuff me in the small closet with only a couple little slits to look though.

The door to the outside flies open and I watch as a guy with a dark colored outfit and silver hair come it and start to beat up Reno and Rude. I am surprised-I thought that Reno and Rude could defeat anyone.

Apparently they can't.

They are defeated. I want to go out and do something, but fear holds me back. I shouldn't be afraid. But I am as I watch the man talk to my father about something. He keeps mentioning someone called, 'Mother' and 'reunions'. My father acts confused, but I know better. If I know anything about my father it is that he is never confused, and if he is, he doesn't ever let you know.

Then the man says something about 'swearing on these' and he tosses down carelessly two cards. Cards that looked like identification cards, like the one I keep in my wallet. I can't see whats on them; something to do with Tseng and Elena?

Then the man starts to talk about the Stigma, about my fathers stigma. Then he does a strange thing-he bows to my father.

My fathers body tenses up suddenly, the mans slowly raises his head to look at my father and even though I am not looking at him, I can't help but shiver. Like something evil just walked into the room and breathed down my neck.

When he leaves, I look at the cards that he left on the ground.

They are Tseng and Elena's identification cards. They're smeared with blood.

I cannot sleep that night because of nightmares that soak my bed with sweat.

The next day my Father is not there, he left a note about 'going to Midgar'. He says something about the stigma, then something like, 'there is acetaminophen in the cabinet downstairs-don't use to much, though'

I think he knows about my stigma.

He ends with saying he loves me, and signs it _Daddy._

I never have called him Daddy.

I muse on that for a hour while my nanny/tutor snores on a couch down stairs.

Sometime later, I hear a explosion from Midgar, I run to the roof and listen to more explosions. I wonder if my father was in any of those.

A roar echoes across the desert outside of Midgar to the cliff side where my house is.

For the first time is my life, I pray.

What am I praying too? I don't know-to anyone that listens. I pray for the life of my friends-the Turks. Tseng, Elena, Reno, Rude, Bettina and Cissnei. And I pray for my father; I don't want to be an orphan.

And I don't want my father to die.

I wonder if anyone is listening.

For the next hour, I watch from the roof, looking towards the town. Watching explosions, things falling, gun shots. I continue to pray.

Then, I hear a low roar of thunder. The last thing I want right now is rain-though it would complete the picture of war that, I have a feeling, has been raging since I was conceived.

It starts to rain, but as the first drop falls onto my skin, I realize this isn't normal rain.

It tingles my skin, seeming cleaner and crisper then any rain I have ever felt in my life. I close my eyes, a sensation runs down my back, I grimace, but to realize that the stigma is gone. I flinch, running my hand over my shoulder and down my back as far as I can reach. My skin feels soft, like baby skin, soft, new, clean. Free of the Geostigma that had racked my body with pain and gave me many sleepless nights since the first cursed trace of rotting skin appeared on my back.

I think my Nanny is still asleep-I don't care. She could die for all I care.

_Aiko_

A gently, beautiful voice drifts though my ears. Soft, caring, gentle.

**Mother?**

Why do I think that that is my mother?

**Mother, is that you?**

The voice giggles,

_If you want me to be, I can._

**I miss you mother.**

_I miss you to. _

**Father misses you to.**

_I miss him to._

**My Stigma is gone.**

_I know._

**Did you do this, Mother?**

_Yes, Aiko, I did._

**Thank you, Mother.**

I stand in the glorious rain untill it stops an hour later. My skin feels so refreshed and clean, its never felt this way before. I've never felt this way before. I am not thinking about the fear for my father and friends anymore. I can't see how life can be any better.

That is, until I hear the sound of a helicopter. I see one coming towards the house, coming from Midgar. I step off the platform and let it land where I was standing. My hair is flying around my face and I am trying to keep my jacket from falling off.

When the motor finally stops running, I see the door open and Rude come stepping out, I smiled a bit. I suddenly feel very happy, joyful if you would.

Then, Tseng steps out of the helicopter. I have to look twice; Tseng? Then comes Elena, Reno, My father. There is no blanket on his head, and I see all traces of the Geostigma gone. His short dark blond hair is flying around his face. His dark blue eyes looking at me. He is standing, no wheel chair holding up his former sickly form. His white suit is stained with small amount of dirt and grime; he'll want it washed later.

All...alive? Tseng? Elena? Father? Reno? Rude?

My friends? All of them, alive?

I think my nanny is still asleep.

()()()

That night, we have a party. Even my father joins in, making a toast to them, all of them. I have my first taste of wine-I think grape juice is better-Reno thinks that's funny. Elena and I cook a huge dinner with turkey, potatoes, cranberry sauce--everything that we can possibly think of. With special apple pie and ice cream for dessert. My father lets me have as much ice cream and pie as I want.

Me, Reno and Elena share a silent laugh.

We have a food fight in the kitchen, everyone except my Father joins in. Rude triumphs over all. We laugh until our sides hurt; though Rude leaves to put on a new suit. He's lame sometimes.

After we're done eating, my Father insists that I dance for him-something about 'missing enough already'. I dance for them-I think I see my father crying while I spin gracefully across the floor.

When I go to bed late that night, Tseng tucks me in and says goodnight. I have him read, _Goodnight Moon_ and we both laugh over it. Elena says she is going to take me shopping tomorrow for paint to color up my walls and a new dress. I say I want one with a frilly skirt so that I can dance in it.

Father says that Elena should sign me up for dancing lessons [though there is no place to take lessons]. I am very happy.

For the first time I remember, I feel whole, entirely and utterly loved. My heart is full, the ache that has plagued me for my whole life is gone.

Early that morning, before the sun is up. My father comes in, thinking I am still asleep, he leans over and kisses me on the forehead.

_Do you know what your name means, Aiko? It means beloved one. _

_Sleep well, my little beloved. _

When he leaves, I grasp my Teddy in my arms and hold him close to me. I whisper in his ear,

_**...Thank you, Mother....**_

_**...I love you to.....Daddy......**_

_**()()()**_

**Well, thats it. Hope you liked! Its pretty long for a one shot...but I was to lazy to make it a two shot. Sigh.**

**Oh, Elena's sister-I don't know her real name. I couldn't find it. So I went with the name of the person who plays her. Yeah-they tell me who plays her but not her name. LAME!**

**Anyway, hope you liked and please review! I love my reviewers to death!! : DDD I'll give you a cookie if you do!**

**~Miss R. **

**PS: I apologizes again for any mistakes...[Secret: I've never played any FF games in my life...I just watch Advent Children and cut scenes off of You Tube. XD]**


End file.
